Sharing my learnings from the book, No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz Ph. D.
No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz Ph. D.
Dr. Schwartz’s Internal Family Systems (IFS) model has been transforming psychology for decades. With No Bad Parts, you’ll learn why IFS has been so effective in areas such as trauma recovery, addiction therapy, and depression treatment―and how this new understanding of consciousness has the potential to radically change our lives.
- You don’t have one unified mind, nobody has. Instead, you have a cacophony of parts, with different personalities & perspectives. Your different parts are what make you a multifaceted, compassionate human being. But if these parts experience trauma as you grow up, they can start behaving destructively. Your parts can end up limiting you with damaging beliefs & coping mechanisms
- we’ve all grown up absorbing the idea that we have a mono-mind (a mind that sees the world in a single, unified way).
- Dr. Richard used to believe in mono-mind theory but then he had a revelation. Instead of trying to eliminate his clients’ destructive urges, he could engage with them. When Dr. Richard & his patients started working with, instead of against, these critical voices, something remarkable happened: they began to heal.
- None of our parts are intrinsically bad. For example, an angry part can help us develop boundaries, and discern when we’re uncomfortable. An intellectual part can help us analyze and make sense of the world around us.
- Children are naturally joyful and when they experience bullying or abuse, they become chronically wounded. These early experiences of rejection create beliefs like “I’m worthless”. Even though these beliefs are childish, they remain parts of our internal landscape as we grow up. But because we don’t know who to deal with the pain these parts cause – they become exiles inside us.
- these exiles could be triggered at any. Moment. So, other parts of ourselves are commandeered into service as protectors.
- managers – can have critical voices mimicking people to try to keep us out of trouble.
- firefighters – cause us to feel pain. Can make us reach for drugs, alcohol, sex or Netflix, and worse, suicide. Their aim is to numb the pain.
- Trauma can be healed. You can help them release their burdens and stop being stuck in the past
- We all possess a core self – even though it’s not always visible
- our inner parts might be feuding or protecting each other. They’re always working in relation to our Self.
- The Self is a wise, compassionate and calm voice that underlies all our different parts. It can’t be hurt, like the other parts and it doesn’t need to grow. It can be thought of as our core.
- The Self is always there but it isn’t always visible. Sometimes, we become so identified with our exiled & manager parts that we start to believe that’s who we are.
- In order to begin healing these parts, we need to let them know that they aren’t responsible for protection anymore: that we’re now adults and our Self is capable of providing loving leadership. The Self needs to start reparenting the parts that have experienced trauma and earning their trust.
- In order to heal, we need to reparent our inner children
- When we create internal harmony, the outside world becomes more peaceful as well.
- when you have lots of protectors looking after fragile exiles, it changes how you relate to other people. You’re only able to see their protectors & behave defensively or aggressively around them. But once you start to heal your parts, you’ll start seeing those same people with loving understanding.
- Once you’ve become connected to your Self, you’ll also be able to see other people for who they really are.
- Characteristics to describe the Self – curiosity, courage, connectedness, compassion, confidence, calm and clarity.
- healing is about learning to be in our bodies and experiencing pain.
- when we ignore our parts, it’s common to suffer physically as well as emotionally.
- In Internal Family Systems therapy, the body is just as important for healing as our minds.
- Connect with your inner parts through daily practice
- If you keep taking the time to engage and connect, you’ll find that trust will grow, allowing even the most injured members to heal. And your internal family will become harmonious and grounded, enriching every aspect of your life.