Jo sent me a forwarded email that is soooooooo inspiring. This is worth sharing to everybody, I hope you do read it. I totally agree that we should never settle for less, we do deserve the best. But ofcourse, we also should know if we are already with the best person for us, learn to appreciate what we have as well 🙂
Settling for Less Than the Best
by David Hawkins
Donâ€™t say you havenâ€™t done it. I wonâ€™t believe you. All of us are guilty of settling for less at some time in our lives.
Yep, weâ€™ve all done it, shaking our heads in confusion the whole time. With that gnawing feeling in the pit of our stomach, we rationalize our situation, knowing weâ€™re treading water, or slowly sinking.
You know the routine. Youâ€™ve been dating a guy for a year and a half. Heâ€™s nice enough, your friends and family like him, but, like a stale piece of gum, the zip isnâ€™t there.
Perhaps youâ€™ve got a different problem. Youâ€™re dating a guy who not only has spark, you have to take a fire extinguisher along on dates to keep the flames under control. But, besides being incredibly irresistible, heâ€™s hopelessly irresponsible.
Again, you settle. Your gut says itâ€™s time to move on, but you question yourself. You really want to move on, but you rationalize the situation.
â€¢ â€œHeâ€™s not that bad.â€
â€¢ â€œI kind of like being with him.â€
â€¢ â€œThere are good times with the bad.â€
â€¢ â€œHe tells me I wonâ€™t find anyone like him.â€
In any case, youâ€™re wasting your time. Precious time. Clock-ticking, second-counting, life-wasting time.
I have a friend who offered the following advice:
â€œDavid,â€ he said in his fatherly voice, â€œI keep track of how many hours of life I have left, assuming I live to be eighty-two. I want to remind myself that every hour, every minute of life is precious. I want to remind myself not to waste time doing anything that is not best for me.â€
Wow! Is that ever a reality check!
I received a phone call the other day from a former client. At first I was concerned when I heard Giniâ€™s voice, knowing her previous situation. Sounding animated and excited, I knew something had changed.
â€œYou remember where I was a year ago,â€ Gini began. â€œI was stuck in a relationship that was going nowhere, with a man I cared about but who abused me with his control tactics. I couldnâ€™t breathe unless I asked permission.â€
â€œYes, I remember your situation, Gini,â€ I said.
Before I could respond further, Gini continued sharing her insights.
â€œI was too insecure, Dr. David. I was afraid I wouldnâ€™t find anyone better. My friends had warned me about setting my standards too high. I was afraid they were right, and so I settled.â€
â€œFear stops us from really listening to our hearts,â€ I added. â€œDeep inside I think we know the truth. And God keeps sending us messages, but itâ€™s scary to follow the truth of our hearts.â€
â€œWell, I finally left Jim. You probably knew it was going to happen, and after I quit counseling I finally did it. Leaving Jim was the hardest thing Iâ€™ve ever done. He didnâ€™t make it easy to leave him, thatâ€™s for sure.â€
â€œSo, have things changed?â€ I asked curiously.
â€œYep. I finally recognized some important truths,â€ she said warmly. â€œAs long as I wasted time with Jim, I missed other opportunities to find the love of my life. As long as I was with Jim, my self-esteem was always going to take a beating. I was caught in a vicious cycle of doubt, fear, more control and then more doubt. I had to get to the point where it was too painful to stay.â€
â€œYou were certainly fed up a number of times when we worked together,â€ I reminded her. â€œBut, there were some good things you didnâ€™t want to lose in the relationship.â€
â€œWell,â€ she added, â€œthatâ€™s true. There were good things, and I missed some of them for a while after I left him. But, Iâ€™ve got to tell you whatâ€™s happened in the past several months.â€
â€œIâ€™d love to hear whatâ€™s happened,â€ I said, encouraged and excited to hear her news.
â€œSince I had the courage to leave Jim, I met a man whoâ€™s a perfect mate for me. Weâ€™ve been dating about nine months and weâ€™re getting engaged soon. He attends a new church Iâ€™ve been attending, and loves my kids. Heâ€™s not controlling and loves me for who I am. I never would have met him if I were still dating Jim. So, I just wanted you to share in my happiness.â€
â€œIâ€™m so pleased for you, Gini,â€ I said. â€œYou deserve the best and Iâ€™m glad you found it.â€
â€œI have a favorite verse that helped me during the rough times. â€˜For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and of a sound mind.â€™ Itâ€™s really helped me.â€
â€œGod will help us be courageous, Gini.â€
â€œThereâ€™s one more thing, Dr. David.â€
â€œTell everyone you know not to settle for anything less than the best. Not only will they be unhappy, but theyâ€™re missing out on Godâ€™s absolute best for them. And timeâ€™s wasting.â€
â€œIâ€™ll tell them, Gini. Donâ€™t settle for less than the best.â€