How To Win Friends and Influence People

Sharing my learnings from the book, How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

Dale Carnegie’s rock-solid, time-tested advice has carried countless people up the ladder of success in their business and personal lives. One of the most groundbreaking and timeless bestsellers of all time, How to Win Friends & Influence People will teach you:

-Six ways to make people like you
-Twelve ways to win people to your way of thinking
-Nine ways to change people without arousing resentment

• The problem with criticizing people is that it puts them on the defensive. People take it personally when they’re told they’re in the wrong. Their natural instinct is to justify their behavior. What’s worse, people tend to bear lasting grudges against those who criticize them, even if the criticism was well-intentioned.
• Everyone wants to feel valued and important, and a few words of appreciation can get you closer to your desired result than any amount of criticisms and complaints.  Praise inspires us to work harder and better, and makes our relationships much warmer.
• People rarely care much about the details of other people’s lives or hobbies. Instead, they usually care about themselves and their own lives. So the quick way to a stranger’s heart is showing that you’re interested in him, too. When you demonstrate that you’re truly interested in others and value their opinions, you’ll often receive great and unexpected rewards.
• Nobody likes people who monopolize conversations. If you want to make a favorable first impression and win people’s hearts, take the opposite tack. Invite them to tell you about their lives and interests, and listen attentively to what they say.
• When disagreements become full-blown arguments, no one wins. If you can, it’s best to avoid them completely.
• If you want to convince someone that what you’re saying is true, never say the words, “You’re wrong.” A subtle and gentle approach is far more likely to be effective. Rather than trying to prove your case by force, try to lead your opponent to your conclusions in a spirit of friendly inquiry.
• Get others to agree with you from the start, and then gently lead them to your conclusions.
• Trying to see things from someone else’s perspective is always beneficial. Not only can it help resolve a tricky situation, but it can also win people’s favor and generate a great deal of goodwill.
• sympathizing with others doesn’t just make them feel good – it can also help you to manage frustration and impatience. By understanding the factors that make people act as they do, you can become more tolerant of behaviors that once irritated and upset you.
• We humans love praise, and we hate to disappoint people who believe in us. When we commend someone’s reputation, we can make use of both these facts: our admiring words reward them for what they’ve already done and also set a high benchmark for future performance.