Get It

Sharing my learnings from the book, Get It by Amyk Hutchens

Get It by Amyk Hutchens

Whether you want more intimacy & connection in your marriage, or a promotion and a raise at work, or you want to say no without feeling guilty, or you want to stop a difficult person in their tracks, I know how to help you. In this communications book, I share with you how to turn a tough conversation into a highly profitable one. I’ve done it myself. Hundreds of my clients have done it. This is the intel you need to become a more masterful communicator. GET IT is a proven, easy to follow book, filled with conversation tips and Magical Phrases so you can get exactly what it is you want.

• Everything you want in life is on the other side of a difficult conversation. Your success depends on what you say and how you say it
• when you approach conversations with the right attitude & right intentions, you’ll get more of what you want more often
• before you engage someone in conversation, the first thing to consider is what your ideal outcome would be
• being clear on what you truly want will help you get what you want, both by influencing how you conduct conversations & by making you more receptive to the surprising opportunities that conversations sometimes have to offer.
• every time you find yourself in a conversation, ask yourself, “am i seeking to connect with this person, or am i seeking to assert myself?. Knowing the answer will define your orientation to the conversation
• connection
  • your primary concern is the other person
  • you temporarily put aside your personal wants and needs in order to empathize with that person’s wants and needs
  • used in personal relationships
• assert yourself
  • your primary focus is power and concern is yourself
  • it’s important to you to assert your own strength & self-respect, to draw boundaries or to express your viewpoint
  • used when dealing with someone who’s behaving in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable
• the best way to deal with power plays at work is to refuse to engage with them
• you’re unlikely to get what you want from someone if you offend their ego (ego hook)
• if you can frame feedback in a way that doesn’t admonish a person – or even better, avoids mentioning him altogether – then you’ve become a feedback expert
• you can use the deflate technique to avoid explosive arguments
  • agree with the other person’s concern
  • then ask them to help you resolve it
• making requests and asking questions are great way to motivate action
  • by making a request, you’re spelling out the exact behavior you want the other person to enact. It works the other way around as well
  • a magical question for motivating action is one that begins with “what happens when…”
  • when you ask a what-happens-when question, you’re inviting others to think through the consequences that they almost certainly want to avoid.
• when you improve the quality of your conversations, connecting with people becomes second nature, problems solve themselves and doors fly open for you