Teeth Movie Review

Last weekend, I was able to catch a most unique horror movie on TV called Teeth.  Usually, for the past few months, I’ve been spending my weekends resting at home:  watching TV, blogging, reading books, listening to music & surfing the net.  So, it was a good thing that I was able to watch the movie Teeth on Star Movies since it really does have one of the most unique plots ever.

At first, I was grossed out but after awhile, I started to realize that I was really liking the movie.  If you’ve been following my blog for quite some time, you would know that I love horror movies.  Teeth is a horror movie but I also describe it as being unrealistic, weird, but unique.

*** there are some words not suitable for children.  If you are 18 years and below, please stop reading this post and just read the other posts in HeaRty’s Haven ***

Why do I keep saying that Teeth is unique?  Well, it is a story about a girl with a teeth in her vagina.  Yes, you read it right, she has a teeth in her private part!  I was actually curious for awhile and started researching the net if there’s actually such a thing.  According to the search results, vagina dentata is actually just a myth.  Good news for guys! hahaha!

Anyway, the plot is very simple.  It’s about Dawn who has a most rare condition called Vagina Dentata where she has teeth in her vagina.  In scene after scene, where she encounters some bad men, she realizes as the movie progresses that ultimately her vagina can help her defend herself.

I can actually enumerate all the scenes where Dawn used her vagina teeth to protect herself from bad people or from people who have hurt her loved ones.

Interested?  Then read on…

• Dawn bit her stepbrother Brad’s finger when they were just lil kids.  In that scene though, it wasn’t obvious how he was bit.  It was just the opening scene.
• After swimming, Tobey (a boy she likes) & Dawn went in a cave & started kissing.  When Tobey forces himself on Dawn, she panics and her vagina bites off his penis.  Yaiks!  The guy ended up dead at the latter part of the movie.
• After the Tobey incident, Dawn suspected that she might have vagina dentata.  She then goes and visits a doctor.  The doctor, however is a maniac.  When he found out that Dawn is still a virgin, he started molesting her.  You can probably guess what happens next.. Dawn’s vagina bites off all 4 fingers of the doctor.  It was gross!  Yuck!  He deserved it though.
• Dawn’s mother health deteriorates & was rushed to hospital.  Dawn then sought the help of his friend, Ryan.  They ended up having sex successfully.  The next day, Ryan’s friend called checking how it went as they had a bet if he would be able to have sex with Dawn.  Dawn heard then proceeds to bites off his penis with her vagina.
• Dawn’s stepfather was hurt by Brad (her stepbrother),  out of anger and of revenge, Dawn went to the house to meet Brad.  She put on make up and started seducing Brad.  In the middle of the act, Brad then recalls how his finger was bitten by Dawn.  At that instance, Dawn’s vagina bites off his penis, where it falls to the ground and his dog eats it.. gross much?

To the guys who have been reading so far, are you scared?  Don’t be!  She doesn’t hurt good guys, Dawn can totally control her vagina teeth.  As long as you’re good, you’re safe 😉  The moral of the story, in a weird horror twist kind of way, is… be good to women and don’t treat them bad.

Since I watched the movie on TV, there were a whole lot of scenes cut.  I was so curious that I really want borrow the DVD.  I shall do that soon hahaha!

My rating for Teeth: 4 out of 5 stars.